I have always been scared of being on my own in the dark. But I love horror films; the building of suspense, the gothic light, the impending doom and the ultimate 'fright' have sent me into paroxysms my whole life. I cannot watch one on my own, though. My imagination rages, wildly, before the introductory credits have finished and I find it impossible to continue watching.
Fuelled by a self-loathing for being such a baby, I decided to drive to a small copse on the South Downs at the end of the day and spend a couple of hours in the middle of it just shooting shapes and apparitions. Despite a determined start, as the minutes crept by and the light diminished I became tense and taut, the sounds of animals, the wind in the trees, even my own breath becoming monstrously heightened the longer I remained there.
It felt like an eternity, but I stayed there for precisely 42 minutes before I drove away...
'But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here'
[Radiohead, 'Creep', 1992]